Thursday, January 30, 2014
14 PRINCIPLES FOR FAMILY MEMBERS ON HOW TO COPE
1 Realize that mental illness is not rare.
2 Learn as much as possible, as soon as possible.
3 Don't blame yourself – it can destroy your chances of coping forever.
4 Seek professional helpers who are effective.
5 Contact a self-help group for families.
6 Accept that mental illness is complex. Our natural instincts can be an unreliable guide. Relatives need training.
7 Get to know the origins of pressures to which family members are subject.
8 Pay special attention to the needs of other members of the family.
9 Remember that unlimited, unconditional self-sacrifice on behalf of someone with a mental illness is fatal to effective caring and coping.
10 Be aware that spending massive amounts of time with the person who has a mental illness can make matters worse.
11 Maintain friendships, activities and hobbies, particularly those that will take you outside the home.
12 Set your sights on appropriate independence for your relative and yourself.
13 Don't be surprised to find that the ability to change and look at things differently distinguishes relatives who can cope from those who can't.
14 Take very good care of yourself.
When mental illness becomes part of the family
When her five-year-old daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2002, Sarah Cannon was appalled at the lack of services available. So she spoke out – and paid a price.
The evening she was featured in her local newspaper, a parent called to “disinvite” Emily from a birthday party. Before long, she was being ostracized at her St. Catherines, Ont., school and labelled a problem child. At home, things were even more difficult as her father also was struggling with mental illness. (He died by suicide the following year.)
Then, “the whispers began,” Ms. Cannon says, “about how we were bad parents ... the ‘crazy family,’ that kind of stuff.”
The collateral damage included her younger daughter, Amy, who was subjected to taunting and teasing, just like her sister. “This isn't how I envisioned family life,” Ms. Cannon recalls.
She is not alone. One in every five Canadians will suffer from a mental illness at some point in their lives. Most will recover fully, but a minority will, like Emily, suffer severe, lifelong psychiatric illness. In her case, it can include depression, mania, wild mood swings and difficulty in carrying out the basic tasks of daily living.
Few families are even remotely prepared for the physical and psychological demands they face, whether it’s an autistic toddler, schizophrenic teen or a grandparent lost to dementia. The ties that bind can undergo severe stress, with routines disrupted, career paths altered, finances decimated and relationships taken to the breaking point.
Many families don't emerge intact. As Ms. Cannon puts it: “Mental health has left us dealing with things we couldn't have possibly imagined. ... It has touched every aspect of our lives.”
When illness strikes at a young age, parents shoulder the biggest burden. Stigma is a major problem, but far from the only one.
Ottawa resident Vera Klein, whose son, David, was diagnosed at 10 with depression and severe anxiety disorder, says that having a child with a mental illness is very different from having one with a physical illness. “The supports are there for physical illnesses. They’re not there for mental illness.”
Ms. Klein was lucky to have friends and family who remained loyal and supportive even after David's illness became public knowledge, as well as an employer who allowed her flexible hours, and to work from home if necessary.
Still, she says, the demands of caring for a child with a severe illness can be overwhelming, isolating and expensive.
David, for example, dropped out of school because of his severe anxiety and panic attacks, and lay around the house all day in a foul mood, while his parents desperately tried to find treatment that would work – counselling, special education, medication, electroconvulsive therapy and admission to hospital. Finally, an intensive wilderness course run by psychologists provided a breakthrough.
Ms. Klein says she knows people who delayed seeking help for children because they feel ashamed and fearful of how they may be perceived and treated – evidence, she feels, of the need to band together, to share information and to offer mutual support.
“As a parent, you get blamed for the child's challenging behaviours,” she says. “It can take a long time to get a diagnosis. So, when you realize there are other families going through the same thing, that you're not alone, it's incredible and empowering.”
In professional terms, Ms. Cannon was less fortunate. She worked at a hospital, but daycares refused to accept her daughter, saying her needs were too great, so she often had to call in sick and care for Emily herself.
Eventually, she took “a job where I could work at home. The pay was a lot less, but it did allow me to take care of her as well as get the education I needed to manage her at home” – in the hope Emily won't require institutional care later in life.
The constant demands take a toll, Ms. Cannon says. “It gets to you. You start to doubt yourself, to think maybe it is your fault.”
The collateral damage extended to her younger daughter, Amy, who has grown up feeling like a second banana because the family's life seemed to revolve around Emily's care and treatment. As a result, Ms. Cannon explains, “there is resentment of sorts,” but at the same time, Amy is fiercely defensive of her sister.
Ms. Klein says the illness that affected her son also reverberated across the family, with David's two older siblings coping quite differently. His brother took refuge in humour, while David's sister was tender with him, no matter how difficult he was.
They never resented David, but were at times angry and frustrated with their parents. “They wanted us to ‘fix it,' ” Ms. Klein says. “That was our job.”
Still, instead of tearing the family apart, the illness brought everyone together. “Now that the kids are all adults,” she adds, “thankfully they are very close to, and supportive of, one another.”
But less-resilient families conceal what they are going through, Ms. Cannon says, and “silence, of course, just perpetuates the stigma and leads to isolation.”
Vowing to avoid that trap, she turned to other parents for support, and is now executive director of an advocacy group, Parents for Children's Mental Health.
Emily, now 15 and in high school, is doing better – as is Ms. Klein's son. His illness kept him out of high school, but David is about to graduate from Carleton University with a psychology degree. And his mother, like Sarah Cannon, remains active with a peer-support group, Parents Lifeline of Eastern Ontario.
Parents, especially those still reeling from the news their child has a mental illness, must realize that treatment can make a difference, Ms. Klein says. “Everybody needs to know there is hope.”
Source: British Columbia Schizophrenia Society
The evening she was featured in her local newspaper, a parent called to “disinvite” Emily from a birthday party. Before long, she was being ostracized at her St. Catherines, Ont., school and labelled a problem child. At home, things were even more difficult as her father also was struggling with mental illness. (He died by suicide the following year.)
Then, “the whispers began,” Ms. Cannon says, “about how we were bad parents ... the ‘crazy family,’ that kind of stuff.”
The collateral damage included her younger daughter, Amy, who was subjected to taunting and teasing, just like her sister. “This isn't how I envisioned family life,” Ms. Cannon recalls.
She is not alone. One in every five Canadians will suffer from a mental illness at some point in their lives. Most will recover fully, but a minority will, like Emily, suffer severe, lifelong psychiatric illness. In her case, it can include depression, mania, wild mood swings and difficulty in carrying out the basic tasks of daily living.
Few families are even remotely prepared for the physical and psychological demands they face, whether it’s an autistic toddler, schizophrenic teen or a grandparent lost to dementia. The ties that bind can undergo severe stress, with routines disrupted, career paths altered, finances decimated and relationships taken to the breaking point.
Many families don't emerge intact. As Ms. Cannon puts it: “Mental health has left us dealing with things we couldn't have possibly imagined. ... It has touched every aspect of our lives.”
When illness strikes at a young age, parents shoulder the biggest burden. Stigma is a major problem, but far from the only one.
Ottawa resident Vera Klein, whose son, David, was diagnosed at 10 with depression and severe anxiety disorder, says that having a child with a mental illness is very different from having one with a physical illness. “The supports are there for physical illnesses. They’re not there for mental illness.”
Ms. Klein was lucky to have friends and family who remained loyal and supportive even after David's illness became public knowledge, as well as an employer who allowed her flexible hours, and to work from home if necessary.
Still, she says, the demands of caring for a child with a severe illness can be overwhelming, isolating and expensive.
David, for example, dropped out of school because of his severe anxiety and panic attacks, and lay around the house all day in a foul mood, while his parents desperately tried to find treatment that would work – counselling, special education, medication, electroconvulsive therapy and admission to hospital. Finally, an intensive wilderness course run by psychologists provided a breakthrough.
Ms. Klein says she knows people who delayed seeking help for children because they feel ashamed and fearful of how they may be perceived and treated – evidence, she feels, of the need to band together, to share information and to offer mutual support.
“As a parent, you get blamed for the child's challenging behaviours,” she says. “It can take a long time to get a diagnosis. So, when you realize there are other families going through the same thing, that you're not alone, it's incredible and empowering.”
In professional terms, Ms. Cannon was less fortunate. She worked at a hospital, but daycares refused to accept her daughter, saying her needs were too great, so she often had to call in sick and care for Emily herself.
Eventually, she took “a job where I could work at home. The pay was a lot less, but it did allow me to take care of her as well as get the education I needed to manage her at home” – in the hope Emily won't require institutional care later in life.
The constant demands take a toll, Ms. Cannon says. “It gets to you. You start to doubt yourself, to think maybe it is your fault.”
The collateral damage extended to her younger daughter, Amy, who has grown up feeling like a second banana because the family's life seemed to revolve around Emily's care and treatment. As a result, Ms. Cannon explains, “there is resentment of sorts,” but at the same time, Amy is fiercely defensive of her sister.
Ms. Klein says the illness that affected her son also reverberated across the family, with David's two older siblings coping quite differently. His brother took refuge in humour, while David's sister was tender with him, no matter how difficult he was.
They never resented David, but were at times angry and frustrated with their parents. “They wanted us to ‘fix it,' ” Ms. Klein says. “That was our job.”
Still, instead of tearing the family apart, the illness brought everyone together. “Now that the kids are all adults,” she adds, “thankfully they are very close to, and supportive of, one another.”
But less-resilient families conceal what they are going through, Ms. Cannon says, and “silence, of course, just perpetuates the stigma and leads to isolation.”
Vowing to avoid that trap, she turned to other parents for support, and is now executive director of an advocacy group, Parents for Children's Mental Health.
Emily, now 15 and in high school, is doing better – as is Ms. Klein's son. His illness kept him out of high school, but David is about to graduate from Carleton University with a psychology degree. And his mother, like Sarah Cannon, remains active with a peer-support group, Parents Lifeline of Eastern Ontario.
Parents, especially those still reeling from the news their child has a mental illness, must realize that treatment can make a difference, Ms. Klein says. “Everybody needs to know there is hope.”
Source: British Columbia Schizophrenia Society
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Bell's 'Let's Talk' day raises nearly $5.5M for mental health initiatives
Clara Hughes, national spokesperson for Bell Let's Talk
Bell's fourth annual 'Let's Talk' day saw tens of thousands of Canadians and others around the world take part in a conversation aimed at raising awareness about mental health issues.
A total of 109,451,719 tweets, texts, Facebook shares, and calls were made during the day-long event Tuesday.
More than three million tweets with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk were sent throughout the day, making it the number one Twitter trend in Canada, and number three worldwide.
Bell Canada donates five cents for each message, bringing the fundraising total to $5,472,586.
The money will go towards Canadian mental health programs.
CTV is owned by Bell Media.
A total of 109,451,719 tweets, texts, Facebook shares, and calls were made during the day-long event Tuesday.
More than three million tweets with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk were sent throughout the day, making it the number one Twitter trend in Canada, and number three worldwide.
Bell Canada donates five cents for each message, bringing the fundraising total to $5,472,586.
The money will go towards Canadian mental health programs.
CTV is owned by Bell Media.
Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/bell-s-let-s-talk-day-raises-nearly-5-5m-for-mental-health-initiatives-1.1659864#ixzz2roaNsEhi
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
The New Year resolutions that everyone should make
If the thought of January fills you with gloom, don't despair. Make 2014 your best year ever.
Take a walk with loved ones to clear your mind
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
If you can't commit to caring for yourself, what good are you to your loved ones or your career? Begin by energising your life with exercise. If you're not the type to join a health club just make small changes.
Take the stairs at work or when out and about. Walk instead of taking the car or public transport because research shows that those who walk regularly are healthier.
Exercise can be fun so consider taking up dancing. Everything from Latin American to ballroom is offered in many health clubs and community centres.
Looking after yourself also means eating well. Replace comfort foods with healthy snacks and meals. Resolve never to shop when hungry and to stick to your shopping list, making you less likely to include unplanned treats.
If you have niggling health worries make an appointment with your GP. Alleviate stress too by refusing extra responsibilities and don't say yes to extra projects when you can't manage them.
A simple, "I'm sorry, I can't help out this time" should suffice.
STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES
We are pulled in many directions and rarely stop to recharge. You can redress the balance in your favour by planning ahead.
Use your diary to plan dates for simple but pleasurable dinners or get-togethers with family and friends. Keeping it simple means everyone's more likely to pitch in.
Take time out for long walks and talks with loved ones.
Also carve out one night a week just for yourself. Maybe you'd love to try wine tasting or join a book club. Once they're part of your routine you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner.
Meditation is a great way to take stock of life and find peace. Take 10 minutes (or even five) for daily meditation. Switch everything off and relax your mind to enhance wellbeing.Organise your finances to minimise stress
HEAL RIFTS
Rifts with family, friends or even colleagues tend to hold us back emotionally. The new year is the perfect time to get in touch. Send a positive text or email or pick up the phone when you're feeling confident about sorting out a nagging issue.
Realise when you need to say, "I am sorry." Often we worry the words make us look weak but it shows strength to be able to apologise for your part in the problem.
Remember especially with loved ones that ultimately it's better to make the peace than to be right.
If you've a problem with a work colleague look at it from their perspective. Do they have a valid point? Could a compromise be reached? Festering issues in the workplace will keep you awake at night and that's not good for you.
STOP WORRYING
Constant worrying can lead to chronic anxiety which can have the effect of draining your emotional energy. In a bid to change, challenge what you're worrying about and think positively. Do you need to worry or is a solution available?
Don't let such concerns take over your life when what you need to do is sit down and work out steps to solve the problem. Identify the times in your day that trigger worry. For instance, are you always late in the morning? If so, how can you change your morning routine?
Even a small change such as setting your alarm clock to go off 10 minutes earlier may help.
Try a visualisation technique utilising a mental "stop sign". When you start worrying, picture a large stop sign signalling you to dump worrying thoughts.
LEARN SOMETHING NEW
Given that human brains are designed to be stimulated constantly, boredom underlies much low-level depression. Start by taking up a daily puzzle. Just stretching your brain a little can make a big difference.
If you plan a holiday in a foreign country you don't have to learn its whole language: buy a phrasebook and learn key messages. You could even get involved in your child's or grandchild's school project. Don't do it for them, but learn side by side.
HAVE A LAUGH
When you have the weight of the world on your shoulders you forget to let go and have fun. Research shows those who laugh more enjoy life more.
Make a regular date to visit a comedy club or watch your favourite old sitcom. You could even plan a comedy night where everyone brings a funny DVD and their best jokes.
It's perfectly okay to find your inner child. Rent your favourite childhood film, buy a bag of your favourite old sweets and sit back and let go of adult worries. Make more time for those you know you can have a good giggle with.Solve a puzzle daily to stimulate your mind.
MANAGE YOUR MONEY
Money can be a major problem. If financial woes get you down, make 2014 the year you conquer them. Start by listing your outgoings compared to incomings, then plan a budget.
Make new rules such as allowing yourself a certain sum of money to spend and leave debit and credit cards at home. If you can, cut up your cards to curb the temptation to spend unnecessarily.
If you've been ignoring creditors call them to agree a payment plan. You'll only make things worse by burying your head in the sand.
BE THANKFUL
It's easy to get stuck in the mindset of always needing more.
Every time you catch yourself thinking you need a holiday or a new home or car, consider the lovely things there are in your life. Look around at everything from your family or best friend to your beloved pets. This will help you focus on the important things.
Also when you feel self critical, thinking you should be more attractive or successful, focus on your top two or three attributes.
If asked, what would your friends say about you? That you're humorous, good company and happy to lend a shoulder to lean on maybe? Focus on these personal qualities.
Now that the holidays are over, it's time to kiss that steady influx of
sweets and treats galore goodbye and switch
over to clean eats and green juice, right? But obviously, that's much easier
said than done! Certain things can definitely help steer us in that direction
though ... like getting a bit of help in the motivation department!
Here, 10 inspirational quotes that could kickstart healthy changes to have you feeling more vital in 2014 and beyond!
1. "And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk more." -Erica Jong
2. "Energy and persistence conquer all things." -Benjamin Franklin
3. "Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." -Lou Holtz
4. "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." -Mark Twain
5. "It's never too late to become what you might have been." -George Eliot
6. "Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion." -Oprah
7. "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it take to accomplish it, the time will pass anyway." -Earl Nightingale
8. "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." -Muhammad Ali
9. "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." -Anna Quindlen
10. "Just believe in yourself. Even if you don't, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will." -Venus Williams
Here, 10 inspirational quotes that could kickstart healthy changes to have you feeling more vital in 2014 and beyond!
1. "And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk more." -Erica Jong
2. "Energy and persistence conquer all things." -Benjamin Franklin
3. "Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." -Lou Holtz
4. "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." -Mark Twain
5. "It's never too late to become what you might have been." -George Eliot
6. "Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion." -Oprah
7. "Never give up on a dream just because of the time it take to accomplish it, the time will pass anyway." -Earl Nightingale
8. "Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill." -Muhammad Ali
9. "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." -Anna Quindlen
10. "Just believe in yourself. Even if you don't, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will." -Venus Williams
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