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Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Living with a Serious Mental Illness
Randye Kaye, the author of "Ben Behind His Voices: One Family's Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope", talks about her family's struggle to help their son recover from a serious mental illness.
Here are some tips to accommodate our loved ones this season...
Surviving the Holidays When You Have a Mental Illness
For most people, the holidays are a time of joy and celebration. However, for many people with mental illnesses, the yuletide cheer is accompanied by added challenges. This is true for those with various diagnoses. Consider the following:
1. For people with depression, the joy and festivities of the holiday season seem to amplify their own inability to experience pleasure. As families and friends come together, they may withdraw. To make matters worse, Christmas falls right around the shortest day of the year, so the lack of sunlight can be a huge trigger for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – a type of depression which occurs in the fall and winter months.
2. For people with anxiety, being around large groups of unfamiliar people can be terrifying. Christmas parties, crowded shopping malls, even visits with unfamiliar (or unkind) relatives can be extra-stressful.
3. For people with anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, the large amounts of foods, particularly “treats,” that are part and parcel of holiday events can induce major anxiety. So can the enormously triggering “diet talk” that often accompanies holiday feasts and intensifies near New Years.
4. For people with alcoholism, the endless parade of holiday parties and events where alcohol is present makes it difficult to socialize normally or enjoy the typical gatherings with family and friends.
5. For people with ADHD, there is the added stress of final exams, Christmas shopping, decorating, parties, and visiting relatives, which can make them feel more scattered and disorganized than usual.
So how do you cope with mental illness during the holiday season?
Here are some tips which may be helpful, regardless of your particular diagnosis:
1.) Plan ahead. Create a written list of potential problems that could arise around the holidays. Think about various ways that you could handle these situations, and write down your solutions. Visualize yourself handling these difficult situations with grace and strength.
2.) Enlist social support. Talk to people you trust – your therapist, family members, or friends – about your concerns. Let them know how they can help you through this difficult time. People are more than willing to be more generous and charitable than usual at this time of year!
3.) Maintain good health habits. Get at least 8 hours of sleep per night, eat plenty of healthful foods, exercise regularly, and drink in moderation (if at all). Many people stop engaging in health-promoting behaviors around the holidays. If you struggle with a mental illness, this is the time to be extra-conscientious about caring for your physical and mental health.
4.) Focus on the protective factors associated with Christmas. Despite the myth that rates of suicides increase around the holidays, scientific research actually shows that suicide rates are lower than average in the days before Christmas. This may be due to several issues: • Increased support from family and friends, who tend to gather together around the holidays • Increased sense of charity and goodwill from others • More community support – shelters, food banks, charities for the poor • For many people, Christmas is associated with positive memories of hope and love and family, which can help improve outlook when things seem bleak • Increase in religious observance and spirituality associated with Christmas
5.) Lower your expectations. Yes, the holidays are seen by many as “the most wonderful time of the year,” as the song goes. But stress and personal problems do not magically disappear during the holidays. It is not realistic to assume that you will be symptom-free simply because it is a holiday.
6.) Keep it simple. The holidays have become so commercialized, and so many demands are placed on people to throw and attend parties, buy and wrap lavish gifts, and cook like Julia Child on steroids, that many people are simply burnt out by the time Christmas arrives. Retailers love to extend the holiday season from Thanksgiving through New Years, but this is mostly for their own profit, and it doesn’t have to be this way. If you feel overwhelmed by stress, simply have a quiet, one-evening celebration with a few people of your choosing who are closest to you. There is no need to spend precious time and money getting people the perfect gifts. A simple card with a thoughtful note is sufficient to let people know you are thinking of them.
7.) Focus on what really matters. Remember the people of Whoville in The Grinch Who Stole Christmas? They showed us that Christmas can be joyful without presents and trees and decorations. These material things have no bearing on our ability to enjoy the holidays.
8.) In keeping with the Dr. Seuss example, think of your mental illness as the Grinch. It is a cold-hearted thief, with a heart three sizes too small, who will attempt to ruin your holiday. Don’t let it.
9.) Remember that parties are supposed to be fun and ARE ALWAYS OPTIONAL. You always dread your annual office party? Just don’t go. Let whomever is in charge know that you aren’t feeling well, or simply that you appreciate the invitation but you won’t be able to make it this year. It’s supposed to be a party, not a punishment.
10.) Do what’s fun; skip what’s not. If you love preparing Christmas dinner for your family, great! Enjoy! If not, hit up your local Chinese restaurant. Jews have had this tradition for decades.
Mental Health Patients Can Receive Welcome Christmas Gifts From You
For $35, one can choose to give a hat, scarf and mittens set or for $45 a pair of pajamas and slippers.
There are many options. Diane, an outpatient at CAMH’s Archway Clinic for people with Schizophrenia, has been receiving treatment for the past six years. “Before coming to Archway I had no self esteem and no self confidence,” she told a roomful of people invited to CAMH for the Gifts of Light 2013 launch. “Now, thanks to Archway, I have both.” She added that Archway gives her a sense of belonging and “for a lot of clients, including myself, Archway is the only family that we have.” Last Christmas, her Gifts of Light present included a winter hat, matching gloves, a scarf, as well as shampoo, conditioner and antiperspirant.
“The Gifts of Light to Archway has made it possible for many of us to truly have a merry Christmas,” she said. “The Gifts of Light provides comfort by delivering gifts and hope to those who are greatly in need. To many of us, it is the Santa Claus that goes that extra mile.”
CAMH helps 28,000 people annually through its inpatient and outpatient programs and through Canada’s only 24/7 mental health emergency department.
Over the past five years, nearly $1.3 million has been raised for Gifts of Light; 628 calling cards were distributed to patients to connect them with friends and family; and 3,645 each of soap, shampoo and conditioner were given out, according to information in the 2013/14 Gifts of Light gift guide. Those are some examples.
“It made me feel warm and happy inside, knowing that there are people like yourselves who actually care,” Diane said. “All of my friends felt the same way. We all shared the same excitement in receiving such a gift. For many of us, this was our only Christmas gift. We’re all grateful to the Gifts of light for giving a ray of hope to those of us who otherwise feel downhearted at Christmas time.”
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Medicate Me, Even When I Refuse
Suppose your toddler wanted to play with your kitchen knives. They are bright and shiny, and she sees you use them everyday, so she asks for them. "No," you kindly but firmly say. "They are very sharp and would hurt you." Your toddler begins to whine, then yell, then tantrum when you refuse to let her play with those knives. Do you give in, when you see how much it means to her, how upset she is that you authoritatively refuse to grant her permission? No, you are a good parent, and because you are responsible for her safety, you calm her down and redirect her to things with which she is allowed to play. The tears dry, and her smile returns -- and she is safe.
Had she been permitted to have her way and play with the sharp knives, she would have badly cut herself. She didn't understand this; she was unaware of the danger she would have been to herself. She needed someone outside herself to keep her safe, until she was older and could understand the damage a knife can cause.
Such a scenario is reminiscent of anosognosia: the inability to recognize one's own illness, often while persisting in behaviours that are harmful to oneself. While it can also occur to due neurological disorder, it is very prevalent in psychiatric illnesses such as schizophrenia. Many people experiencing psychosis do not believe they are at all ill. They refuse help, and, unless treated against their (psychotic) will, they may harm themselves or others.
But we must have the right to harm ourselves, have we not? Such reasoning parades as a constitutional right, the right to chose what happens to our bodies and brains. Move beyond that and find that the right to refuse psychiatric treatment is a growing movement. This group insists that any treatment for a mental illness is exceedingly harmful to the person -- if indeed there is such a thing as mental illness. "Mental illness," they say, is a "personal journey," something special that must not be crushed by involuntary medication or hospitalization.
Perhaps this laissez-faire is akin to letting the child play with the knives. Yes, they might get hurt, but, as they "journey" with these knives, they would discover that to hold the hilt means no pain. Some children would learn this quickly, others more slowly and with far more cuts. In other words, if someone knew that some would come out of the play wiser, and maybe even with hardly a scrape, to play with knives is indeed a learning experience. Thus, the one that is "in control" (parent) ought not disallow the play lest they dampen the curiosity, problem-solving skills, and bravery of the child, who has their own fledgling right to harm him or herself. Perhaps. But those "learning" cuts could easily kill.
Is this then a real right? In my case, is repeatedly bashing my head against a concrete wall till both my head and the wall are bloody a right? Or cuts to my arms, slit with a razor blade -- a right? It is what I do without medication; it happens when I am ill with schizophrenia in order to release the millions of microscopic rats that I delusionally believe are eating my brain. When taking antipsychotics, the rats leave, the need to self-harm fades, and I am in my right mind.
Besides the rats and bloodletting, I fall into the realm of anosognosia when I am ill. I do not know that the rats are not real, and vehemently argue with frustrated health care professionals. I do not belong, certified, on the psych ward! The rats really are eating my brain! No, I don't want your PRNs of rat-infested Ativan!
Then come the restraints and injections. Involuntary treatment. Anosognosia: no insight, no right? The Mental Health Act hangs on the ward wall. Our rights. I am too drugged to read it. I attempt to hang myself in the bathroom. Again.
The "psychiatric survivors" will love this. See the results of "treatment"? I have rights: the right to life, that right to the pursuit of happiness. Surely this cannot happen amid needles and isolation rooms and medication -- oh, how much medication.
But though some psychiatrists rely overly on their psychopharmaceutical powers, my brain is in fact too sick to heal on its own. It needs something outside itself to be healthy enough to fulfil my rights. I have seen drugs fail, but I know now that some actually clear my life of psychosis. Could I have gotten there alone? No. The hangings would have continued, eventually successful. Unmedicated "journeys" for me are a hell of hallucinations, paranoia, and delusion. Please, I do want the drugs, even though I tantrum against the injections. Please, someone, make choices for me when I cannot: choose to give me the treatment that, for me, has worked in the past. Medicate me. Don't leave me to myself; I will play with those knives, and may not learn until I bleed to death what harm I have the "right" to do. -Erin Hawkes, Blogger
In any given year, one in five people in Canada has a mental health problem or illness.
Of the 6.7 million people who have a mental health problem, about one million are children and teenagers between nine and 19 years old.
Mental health problems cost at least $50 billion a year, or 2.8 per cent of gross domestic product, not including the costs to the criminal justice system or the child welfare system.
In 2011, about $42.3 billion was spent in Canada on treatment, care and support for people with mental health problems.
Mental health problems account for about 30 per cent of short- and long-term disability claims.
If just a small percentage of mental health problems in children could be prevented, the savings would be in the billions.
How Medication Stopped My Schizophrenia From Killing Me
Have my antipsychotics literally changed my brain? Have they exacerbated my schizophrenia? An irony: an effect of antipsychotics is that less dopamine (a neurotransmitter whose work is affected in schizophrenia) is sent as a message to the next neuron, but in fact, this may actually cause a "supersensitivity" to dopamine. In "The Scientific Case Against Forced Drug Treatment" presented by Robert Whitaker in February, Whitaker runs with this, blaming antipsychotics for causing psychosis.
There is some evidence of dopaminergic supersensitivity in medicated patients but, again ironically, it is time-limited and seen most in the patients with schizophrenia that have the best prognosis. Perhaps that is occurring in my own medicated brain. Would Whitaker recommend (strongly) that I stop taking the medication? However, when my brain is unmedicated, my schizophrenia runs rampant. I am psychotic, hallucinating, and awash in paranoid delusion. I do not go to work, I do not answer my phone; I flee to the streets lest the police come to my home and collect me for yet another hospitalization. I live in constant terror because microscopic rats are eating my brain and a homicidal man is tracking me down to shoot me. I am not on medication. That is my right. But have I chosen to be med-free of my own volition?
How do you choose for or against psychosis when psychotic? By very definition, you are of "unsound mind" when making that choice, the criteria accepted by most mental health care professionals (along with being a danger to yourself or others) as the green light to provide medication without your consent.
Personally, I have been on the receiving end of forced medication. Throughout my 11 certifications (forced hospitalizations), I was repeatedly injected with drugs without consent. More specifically, against my consent, I was screaming and crying for them to not inject me. I never won. But now, I take medication for my schizophrenia voluntarily every day. Why? I learned from those forced injections that meds made things easier: voices are quieter, delusions and paranoia smaller. I would never have consented on my own, preferring to exercise a "right to be unmedicated" over a "right to life-saving treatment." While I do not believe that every forced intervention was warranted, I do believe that without some involuntary treatment I would be at best psychotic and, at worst, dead. Oh, did my voices ever want me to kill myself. I count myself lucky that some medication ordered by some doctor brought me out of that state. Now, is life without schizophrenia and without medication a possibility? I know from experience that every relapse followed a decrease (or cessation) of my meds. Round and round that revolving door. Isn't that the definition of "insanity:" to repeat a behavior expecting a different response? I kept stopping the medication, only to wind up on the hospital psych ward again. Finally, I understood: take meds and stay sane and free.
Or am I a deluded victim of the "drug era" I am in? Robert Whitaker's presentation ("The Scientific Case Against Forced Treatment") to the Mental Health Legal Advisors Committee, astonished me at the absurd simplification regarding that "pre-drug and drug era" (1947 and 1967): who can enumerate the countless other factors between these two "eras"? What about the start of an "era" of having more and differing social facilities to support those with mental health become not only available, but also coming with progressively less stigma. Across Whitaker's "eras," successful "living in the community" has a multitude of possible interpretations (which he fails to note). This includes how long people with schizophrenia live at home as (mentally ill) adults versus in some form of "group home" or supported housing.
In our society decades ago, and across a variety of cultures, many people with mental illness would have been more often cared for among relatives. There are vast differences regarding mental illness acceptance and support across both time and space; differing world-views and beliefs systems must be taken into account when defining such things as "living in the community."
Finally, where in his presentation does Whitaker acknowledge that those most likely to be medicated are those most adversely affected by a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia? And that this population will show less improvement, regardless of whether they are being medicated. I count myself fortunate in that I do respond to the antipsychotics I am now taking, despite being labeled "severe," "refractory," and "chronic" in the past. It would be great if I could go without meds, but I have learned all too painfully that I get my life back when I am taking those little pills.
Why Mental Illness Goes Much Further
Than Research Tells Us
Canadians recently learned the results of the Canadian Community Health Survey on Mental Health (2012), which revealed that 1 in 6 Canadians were in need of mental heath care. This is a large portion of the population and so the findings are not only significant, but they have garnered media attention and should assist in advocacy for mental health issues in Canada.
The problem is that the statistic is flawed.
The researchers excluded three critical groups:
1. "persons living on reserves and other Aboriginal settlements" 2. "full time members of the Canadian Forces" 3. "institutionalized populations"
The problem here is obvious -- the exclusion of these populations significantly lowers the number of people identified as having a mental health need. Native Canadians are known to suffer from problems with substance abuse, depression and high suicide rates, and the Canadian Armed Forces tend to have higher rates of PTSD and depression than the general population.
Furthermore, the researchers only assessed a small portion of mental illnesses -- depression, bipolar, generalized anxiety, and substance abuse/ dependence. Using a reduced number of disorders in the calculation and understanding of need biases the results.
So, the 1 in 6 figure significantly underestimates the mental health needs of Canadians.
There were other methodologcal issues that are also worth mentioning here, but my goal is not to tear down the methodological flaws of the research. Rather, I believe there is a larger and more important message to be delivered by examining the mental health statistics disseminated in Canada. Before making my broader point, let's look at a more popular mental health statistic that many readers would be familiar with.
Many Canadians have heard over the years that 1 in 5 Canadians will suffer from a mental illness in their lifetime. They were exposed to this statistic through the Bell Canada "Let's Talk" campaign or through the various health agencies in Canada, such as the Public Health Agency of Canada, the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), and the Canadian Institute of Health Research.
These groups' websites are not the best at clearly citing their sources, but with a little bit research, one finds that the statistic usually comes from one of two reports:
1. The Report on Mental Illness in Canada by the Public Health Agency of Canada. 2. The Canadian Community Health Survey on Mental Health and Well-Being (2003).
The first report summarizes existing data and was used to paint a picture of mental illness in Canada.
The odd thing about this report is its clear problem with internal consistency.
The authors of the report assert on page 15 that 20% (1 in 5) of Canadians will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. Two pages later (p. 17) they write that "Canadian studies have estimated that nearly one in five Canadian adults will experience a mental illness during a one year period (my italics)." This appears to be a baffling mistake that confuses the reader about which statistic is correct.
The second report presents the findings of a national survey. Both one year and lifetime prevalence of various mental illnesses are presented. Results from this study found that 1 in 10 Canadians had at least one mental illness over a one year period, and 1 in 5 experienced one of these disorders in their lifetime.
These data are a significant improvement over the The Report on Mental Illness in Canada, which derived their data from smaller Canadian studies.
However, the problem with the CCHS survey is that only a portion of mental illnesses were examined. The researchers did not assess the prevalence of many disorders. To give an idea of the degree to which this exclusion of illnesses would bias the prevalence results, I have listed here the illnesses not included in the survey and the lifetime prevalence of each disorder based on U.S. estimates (1):
- Specific Phobia (12.5 per cent) - Generalized Anxiety Disorder (5.7 per cent) - PTSD (6.8 per cent) - OCD (1.6 per cent) - Dysthymia (2.5 per cent) - ADHD (8.1 per cent) - Oppositional Defiant Disorder (8.5 per cent) - Conduct Disorder (9.5 per cent) - Intermittent Explosive Disorder (5.2 per cent ) - Schizophrenia (one per cent) - Personality Disorders (14.8 per cent)
As you can see, there were a large number of disorders not included in this Canadian survey. However, this is not the only problem. Similar to the more recent CCHS survey, the following groups were omitted from the study:
- those living in the three Canadian territories and resident of remote areas - those living on Indian Reserves and Crown lands - residents of institutions, and - full-time members of the Canadian Armed Forces
When one considers that these groups were not included, in addition to the large swath of mental illnesses that were not evaluated, it becomes very clear that 1 in 5 Canadians is not even close.
Large scale American studies on prevalence of mental illness have found that 1 in 2 Americans will experience a mental illness in their lifetime.
While I certainly applaud these various health organizations for their efforts and hard work, I am quite dissatisfied with not only the biased statistics that have been formulated and disseminated, but also how no one has even noticed.
To help put into perspective the injustice of this problem, one only needs to surmise the reaction of politicians, health officials, advocates and indeed the general population if this same approach was used with a physical health problem like cancer.
Imagine if the true prevalence of cancer in Canada was somewhere around 50 per cent, but the government of Canada estimated the prevalence to be approximately 20 per cent because they included in their estimate only a portion of all possible cancers. The medical community would be in an uproar because there are important implications drawn from such data.
Health awareness in the community and funding for research and treatment are all affected by the estimated severity of a problem. And if you vastly underestimated cancer rates, the realistic danger is that cancer research and treatment would not receive the necessary attention and funding that it deserves, and the community at large would suffer. Thus, it is important to always have an accurate understanding of the severity of a particular health problem.
Well, guess what happens if mental illness is underestimated?
It is often said that mental health is the orphan of the Canadian health care system. Sadly, the lack of awareness in just how prevalent mental illness is in Canada only serves to further validate this conclusion.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
A Stress-Free Thanksgiving
Ten tips for an easier holiday
There are plenty of small steps you can take to reduce holiday stress.
1. Arm yourself with a plan: Sit down and make a guest list. From the number of guests, plan your menu. Then you can create a complete shopping list and decide if you're doing all of the cooking or if others will be bringing dishes. Take inventory at least two weeks out of your dinnerware, kitchen tools, and gadgets, spices and other staples in your pantry, and don't forget to count chairs! 2. Shop early: Grocery stores get more packed the longer you wait, plus you run the risk of some of your needs being sold out. Try to do your shopping early morning or late evening at least one week before the big day. 3. Make-ahead magic: Plenty of side dishes, desserts, and breads can be made ahead of time. This frees up your counter space and your to-do list. If you do have to make several dishes on Thanksgiving, try to distribute them evenly between the stovetop, the oven, and the microwave. 4. Perform a test flight: If you're making a side dish for the first time or using ingredients that you aren't familiar with, try them out beforehand so you'll be prepared for success on Thanksgiving Day. Ditto if you're serving a new wine or using new equipment, like a brand new oven. 5. Manage the little ones: Keeping the kids occupied takes time as well. Having a group of kid-friendly DVDs on hand is a no-brainer, but don't stop there. Kids can help in the kitchen with cookie decorating or in the dining room with setting the table. 6. Shrink the menu: With the size of the feast on most of our tables, it really isn't necessary to load your guests up on dips, snacks, or appetizers. A platter of cut fresh vegetables should do the trick. 7. Turkey duty: As the place where all eyes are focused, preparing a perfect Thanksgiving turkey carries a huge amount of stress. The most important thing: don't forget to thaw the turkey. In the refrigerator is the best method, but will take longer. You can also submerge the turkey in cold water to speed thawing. Keep the bird basted as it cooks and let it stand for at least 30 minutes after it comes out of the oven to keep it moist. 8. Quick fixes: Purchasing store-bought desserts and adding your own flair is a great timesaver. Defrost a frozen pumpkin pie, top with streusel, and bake. Or simmer cranberries in orange juice and a little sugar just until they pop and spoon over purchased pound cake. 9. Plan an after-dinner activity: Plan something for the family to do after dinner. Pre-purchase movie tickets for the opening blockbuster and fold them in your napkins. Have your yard staked out for a game of flag football. Your guests will love having the planning done for them. 10. Don't sweat it: The true secret to being a gracious host or hostess (and keeping your own sanity) is to not let small problems ruin the day. If one of your side dishes burns, simply toss it out and enjoy the bounty you do have. If the turkey burns, order take-out. And don't forget to laugh.
Sure it's easier to say yes, but at what price to your peace of mind? Here's why saying no may be a healthier option for stress relief.
By Mayo Clinic staff
Is your plate piled high with deadlines and obligations that you're trying to squeeze in between meetings? Are you trying to cram too many activities into too little time? If so, stress relief can be as straightforward as just saying no.
Why say no?
The number of worthy requests isn't likely to lessen, and you can't add more available time to your day. Are you doomed then to be overcommitted? The answer is no, not if you're willing to say no. It may not be the easy way, but it is a path to stress relief.
Consider these reasons for saying no:
Saying no isn't necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll be able to devote quality time to them.
Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you've always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn't mean that you have to keep doing it forever. Saying no will give you time to pursue other interests.
Always saying yes isn't healthy. When you're overcommitted and under too much stress, you're more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.
Saying yes can cut others out. On the other hand, when you say no you open the door for others to step up. They may not do things exactly the way you would, but that's OK. They'll find their own way.
When to say no
Sometimes it's tough to determine which activities deserve your time and attention. Use these strategies to evaluate obligations — and opportunities — that come your way.
Focus on what matters most. Examine your current obligations and overall priorities before making any new commitments. Ask yourself if the new commitment is important to you. If it's something you feel strongly about, by all means do it. If not, take a pass.
Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. Is the new activity you're considering a short- or long-term commitment? For example, making a batch of cookies for the school bake sale will take far less time than heading up the school fundraising committee. Don't say yes if it will mean months of added stress. Instead, look for other ways to pitch in.
Take guilt out of the equation. Don't agree to a request you would rather decline because of feelings of guilt or obligation. Doing so will likely lead to additional stress and resentment.
Sleep on it. Are you tempted by a friend's invitation to volunteer at your old alma mater or join a weekly golf league? Before you respond, take a day to think about the request and how it fits in with your current commitments.
How to say no
No. Nope. Nah. See how simple it is to say one little word, allowing you to take a pass on tasks that don't make the cut? Of course, there will be times when it's just not that easy. Here are some things to keep in mind when you need to say no:
Say no. The word "no" has power. Don't be afraid to use it. Be careful about using wimpy substitute phrases, such as "I'm not sure" or "I don't think I can." These can be interpreted to mean that you might say yes later.
Be brief. State your reason for refusing the request, but don't go on about it. Avoid elaborate justifications or explanations.
Be honest. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
Be respectful. Many good causes land at your door and it can be tough to turn them down. Complimenting the group's effort while saying that you can't commit at this time shows that you respect what they're trying to accomplish.
Be ready to repeat. You may find it necessary to refuse a request several times before the other person accepts your response. When that happens, just hit the replay button. Calmly repeat your no, with or without your original rationale, as needed.
Saying no won't be easy if you're used to saying yes all the time. But learning to say no is an important part of simplifying your life and managing your stress. And with practice, you may find saying no gets easier.
A few months ago, Logan Noone made a decision that everyone told him would be a terrible idea. He started talking.
In May 2011, Noone was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a psychiatric condition marked by alternating periods of intense depression and good or irritable moods. While seeking treatment for his mental health at a hospital, his doctors and fellow patients all told him the same thing – don’t tell anyone about your illness.
“They all said, ‘You have to be careful about who you tell, because people may discriminate against you, and it could ruin your career,’” Noone, a 23-year-old Connecticut native who now lives in California, told FoxNews.com. “And it was really frustrating for me because I thought, ‘Yeah, but they might not.’”
Though he adamantly disagreed with the idea of keeping quiet, Noone ended up taking his physicians’ advice and ultimately kept his condition to himself.
"I’m just a normal guy, and I can still fit in with everyone else. We all have something wrong with us; no one’s DNA is perfect."
- Logan Noone, on his new attitude towards being bipolar
The silence tore him apart. For the next six months, he spiraled into one of his worst depressions, feeling nothing but shame for his condition and the life he was leading.
“I thought it was a flaw; I didn’t think I could be anything successful,” Noone said. “I didn’t have the drive to get better, because I thought I was destined for suicide.”
Then a seemingly small moment would catapult Noone into a completely different phase of his life. Just two days after moving to California for a job transfer, Noone nonchalantly told his new Craigslist roommates his biggest secret – that he had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Then something incredible happened.
Nothing changed.
His roommates did not discriminate against him and embraced Noone for who he was.
“I’ve been able to teach them what bipolar disorder is and change their misconceptions about it,” Noone said. “…They also taught me the lesson that I’m just a normal guy, and I can still fit in with everyone else. We all have something wrong with us; no one’s DNA is perfect.”
Since then, Noone has purposefully gone against the “keep quiet” mentality, making the choice to step up and speak out about his experience with mental illness. Having recently been hired by the California Speakers Bureau, Noone travels to different colleges throughout the state, giving speeches about his life story and how people can help erase the stigma surrounding mental illness. He has since posted a video of his speech on YouTube, which is quickly gathering views and enormous support.
Now, Noone and others are poised on the brink of what they are calling a mental health civil rights movement, aimed at encouraging those with mental illness to break their silence and talk about their experiences as something positive – and not something to hide. Depression vs. mania
Having grown up with a loving family in Litchfield, Conn., Noone had always been a happy, normal kid. He would sometimes experience periods of depression and anxiety, but he could always turn it around quickly.
It wasn’t until he studied abroad in Scotland while attending his junior year at the College of the Holy Cross that he started to notice something wasn’t quite right.
“I started to have racing thoughts that were so consuming,” Noone said. “I couldn’t focus; I had trouble interacting with people. I didn’t feel like I knew who I was. It ultimately lead to drinking and self-medicating, which is certainly not healthy.”
Noone questioned everything from the love of his friends and family to his sexuality. And the thoughts showed no sign of going away, haunting him throughout his junior and senior year – causing him to isolate himself and become extremely anxious. Then when it came time for his final week of college, a lot of major changes happened all at once. He had just recently broken up with his girlfriend, was about to walk the stage for graduation and was starting a new job in just a few short weeks.
He said his parents likened it to the ‘Perfect Storm.’
Noone finally decided to speak with his friends about how he had been struggling. While he was telling them, his mood suddenly started to turn around. He started to have feelings of euphoria and felt as though he had a ton of energy. As his friends began their celebrations for senior week, Noone felt excited enough to join in on the fun – but the partying didn’t stop.
“I was having a blast, but I couldn’t turn it off,” Noone said. “I had a constant, insane amount of energy, and it continued to get worse as I continued to lose sleep. I started having all these grandiose ideas that I thought could make work. I thought I could make a billion bucks off of them in a week. I was calling investors before I had even written anything down, and it even got to the point where I thought people were going to steal them from me, that people were monitoring my email and cellphone.”
It didn’t take long for his friends and family to figure out something was very wrong. After about a week of not sleeping, Noone himself started to realize he might be suffering from something very serious, and knowing that bipolar disorder ran in his family, it wasn’t hard for him to put the pieces together. Seeking help
Realizing he needed help, Noone’s family arranged for two psychiatric disease experts to come to their home in order to advise him about what to do next.
Facts About Bipolar Disorder
- People with bipolar disorder alternate between periods of depression and elation or sometimes mania
- The condition usually begins between the ages of 15 and 25.
- Symptoms of the manic phase can include problems controlling temper, high energy, reckless behavior, and little need for sleep.
- Symptoms of the depression phase can include very low moods, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, isolation, and even thoughts of death and suicide.
They told him he ultimately had three options. He could do nothing and continue to suffer, schedule an appointment with a therapist (which could ultimately take weeks), or he could do something even more drastic – check into a hospital.
“Saying I should go to the hospital was shocking,” Noone said, “but it really only took my five to 10 minutes to make that decision. I finally just said I should suck it up and, ‘Let’s do this.’”
The experience was rough, but necessary. Over the next five days, Noone worked with his doctors to figure out the best treatments for moving forward and the right combination of medications that would help control his symptoms. He wasn’t allowed to leave the building until the process was done.
It was during his time at the hospital that Noone learned about the stigma surrounding bipolar disorder and mental illness in general. Everyone he met said keeping his disorder a secret was the best course of action, as people would ultimately view and treat him differently. Even his fellow patients at the hospital said talking about their symptoms and struggles was just too risky.
The silence contributed to his worst depression yet, and Noone spent the next six months feeling ashamed of himself and his condition. But in those last few months, he started to have a change of heart. His employer, Hanover Insurance, decided to transfer Noone to California for a new position, and he spent five days in a car with his father, thinking about life and letting everything sink in.
Those five days would later change everything.
“During that time period, I thought, ‘I’m not going to live this life anymore,’” Noone said. “‘This is stupid, and I’m not going to be ashamed.’” Starting a movement
This decision to tell his roommates about his disorder had an unprecedented impact on Noone. His instincts had been right all along. Not only was it OK to talk about bipolar disorder, but it was actually therapeutic, inspiring him to turn his life around in a way he had never imagined.
“It started this momentum of happiness in my life,” Noone said. “I started working out, eating better…. I started this last May, and until now I’ve lost 70 pounds.”
Just the simple act of revealing his condition to his roommates motivated Noone to start attending meet-up groups for people with bipolar disorder and other mental health issues. He began listening to all of their life experiences and learned helpful insights and coping mechanisms he could apply to his own life.
“This was the key to my recovery, because I didn’t feel all alone,” Noone said. “Five percent of the population has bipolar disorder, and they think that number is grossly underestimated. So it was really rewarding being able to connect and meet more of them, because that’s how people are going to get inspired to get the help they need.”
Noone’s involvement with the bipolar community ultimately caught the eye of William Taylor from Mental Health America, who runs an event called “Recovery Happens,” a celebration of people with mental illness who have made recoveries in their lives. Taylor approached Noone about possibly speaking out about his bipolar experience, and Noone was eager to sign up.
Now, Noone is set to travel to different colleges to give speeches about his life story. His first speech at Sierra College in Rockland, Cali., turned out to be a great success and encouraged Noone to go one step further. Given the response he received, he recorded a separate video of his speech in his kitchen and posted it to YouTube, hoping to better spread the word online.
So far, the response has been overwhelming.
“I’ve been getting messages from people I don’t know, people in different countries,” None said. “They tell me, ‘I can really relate to this story, and you’ve inspired me to live a healthy life.’”
Besides his speaking engagements and YouTube video, Noone is working to start a non-profit, which strives to create an online community revolving around mental illness pride, as well as a marketing campaign called “Repaint the Picture,” aimed at erasing the misconceptions of mental illness and spreading mental illness pride. And Noone is not alone in this endeavor. He has already received substantial interest in starting his own initiative. Many high-profiled celebrities – such as Carrie Fisher, Linda Hamilton, Russell Brand, Howie Mandal, and Robert Downey Jr., to name a few – have already come out about their struggles with bipolar disorder, spreading knowledge and awareness of the disorder.
Overall, Noone feels the whole mental health community is on the brink of a civil rights movement, in which people with mental illness are about to come out of the shadows and spread their stories for the world to hear. It is through this effort, he says, that things will inevitably start to change.
“We’re going to try to tell the success stories,” Noone said. “The stories people need to hear. The truth.” Interested in Logan Noone's updates? Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Contrary to the popular saying, you don’t have to be careful what you wish for. Wishes are dreams, and it’s nice to dream. However, do be careful about what you expect. Unrealistic expectations can be the root of unhappiness with the reality of your life.
My son, Ben, who lives with paranoid schizophrenia, used to seem lost to us almost completely…maybe 20% of him was occasionally glimpsed by us behind his symptoms. Now, with treatment for schizophrenia, he is back with us – about 65-75%. Depends on the day. But I’ll take it.
If Wishes Came True...
Sure, I wish for Ben to return 100%. Oh, my, what a nice dream that is. I hope that research will result in even better treatment options, and that Ben would be willing to try them. But do I expect it? Not at the moment. It would only interfere with my gratitude that, much of the time, Ben is functional and coherent, able to work part-time and care about school , carry on a conversation, and – yes – have some friends (at long last).
Is it “enough”? Of course not! But it’ll do. We have seen worse – much worse – and many families are still dealing with more heartbreaking crisis, I know. But, yes, sometimes I still miss Ben – or, rather, the parts of him still masked by residual schizophrenia symptoms, in varying degrees. His sense of humor, his sensitivity to the feelings of others, can change from day to day. And, sometimes, it’s hard to pinpoint why.
“Realistic Hope” in Schizophrenia Recovery
What does that mean? Where exactly are we now?
You know how, after a cold, it is a miracle the first time you can breathe again through your nose? Or how, after surgery, it’s a thing of pure joy when you can walk to the mailbox and back?
Well, that’s how it can be when someone you love is coming back from episodes of psychosis. The “small miracles” are only miraculous because they had been taken away – and you feared you might never have them again.
Still – you’ve got to know the limits, and realize what isn’t along with what is. And rejoice when you can, mourn on occasion, and eventually accept – with a glimmer of hope for more improvement.
For example: it isn’t always easy to connect with Ben, still. That’s the reality of treatment – at best, it manages many of the symptoms. But – it does not cure. Ben in not back with us 100% – oh, how I wish.
He still has schizophrenia, after all, despite the management of symptoms provided by his treatment. Still, there’s a lot that goes on in his brain that I will never know – and cannot really ask about anymore.
For instance – he refuses to cut his hair. Some kind of Samson thing,
Samson could not cut his hair
I suspect. But I don’t fight that battle. He still can be found glancing off to the side, as if he sees things that I do not. He retreats inward when there is too much, or too little, stimulation. As depicted in a previous post, he can be affected by everything from the flu to a stress of any change.
And – the easy flow of conversation and laughter? Boy, I sure do miss that, always. But – it that flow is there sometimes, in moments of connection that break through the clouds of his illness.
I just have to capture those moments and hold them close to my heart. And know their limits.
Living With Mental Illness Limitations
Fairly consistent connection subjects, for us, right now:
Making family plans
Sharing music – singing together, asking about what he likes
When I compliment him
When he is proud of something
Scrabble or Boggle, or other family game
Seeing a movie or play
Trickier, at best:
Reminding him to comb hair, cut nails, do chores
Large events with too many conversations at once
Asking about what his goals are, he plans do to in the future
What will he “do” with his college degree?
Discussions about smoking
Yep, we’ve got to know the current limits of the symptom management. We must always keep one eye on signs of relapse, or of too much stress. The other shoe could fall at any time.
Still, there are moments to treasure. Ben danced with me last night at my nephew’s wedding. It was a treasured moment of normal.
Never Give Up Hope
But – what can you hope for, given the reality of current treatments, and lack of consistent support services? Hope for everything. And fight for what you can. What can you expect? That will take time and experience to tell. Get support and education in the meantime…and count the small miracles when you can. Sometimes, they are all you have – and, some days, they just have to be enough
Sure, it’s not the story you usually get in the media: Someone with a diagnosis of schizophrenia or schizoaffective actually has a life. This person loves, works, contributes, has useful skills – and is an active participant in his/her own treatment.
But in the NY Times this week, Benedict Carey’s article is there on the front page: Lives Restored:A High-Profile Executive Job as Defense Against Mental Ills
Keris Myrick, 50, the chief executive of a nonprofit organization, has found ways to manage her illness – and thrive. Will this happen for my son, Ben? I don’t know – but I can hope. I can’t expect, but I will dream. For, right now, there is progress in his life that I hadn’t dared to dream about even one year ago.
The comments on the article range from supportive and grateful to disbelieving and discouraging. Everyone’s got to be somewhere. As for me, this was my response:
“My son has schizophrenia. 14 years ago everyone thought he was headed to Yale Law School and a fabulous career. Ten years ago, I prayed he would survive five months of homelessness and wandering in the Northwest. Eight years ago, he was hospitalized five times. One year ago, he was back in college part-time, and on the Dean’s list every semester (and it mattered to him). I thought that might be as far as he might be able to succeed, and it was still amazing. This year, he surprised us all by landing a job – and keeping it. Employment has made a huge difference in his self-esteem, and is rising to meet the challenge (supported by the right medication, friends, family, and professional input.) He may not be an executive, but it could happen. This article is an inspiration – and a call for respect, research, opportunity, and understanding. Thank you!” ~ Randye Kaye, author Ben Behind His Voices:One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope (Rowman, Littlefield, 2011)
Ben’s life did not end with his illness, nor did it freeze after his diagnosis. Change is constant – sometimes two steps back, sometimes several steps forward. But things do evolve, and not always predictably.
Our current situation, after this summer’s setback, involves Ben’s maintaining his apartment but spending more time with the family as we help him re-adjust to post-hospital life. His schedule includes the familiar: school, work, and his “Anonymous” meetings in his apartment neighborhood. But we’re going to have to make a change in Ben’s meeting locations, because he is now terrified to go into that neighborhood.
Why? Last week Ben was mugged. Mugged, complete with a knife held to his neck and an injured shoulder from being thrown to the ground. Thank God he is physically OK , except for the shoulder pain. It could have been so much worse. But we are all left with the post-shock fears: what if they found out where he lives? what if they do it again? Ben, who was attacked after getting off the bus, hasn’t been able to ride it again – yet.
But he will. We have learned that he has more resilience than we, or he, had previously realized. He only took one day off from work, and is back at school after re-purchasing the textbooks that were stolen from him (and, I bet, tossed in the garbage).
Ben has shown incredible strength this week. Anything is possible – with the proper treatment, attitude, and support. We continue to appreciate what is good each day – and hold our breath just a bit more lately.
Success and schizophrenia? Absolutely. Sometimes, we just have to be flexible as to how we define success.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
6 Breathing Exercises to Relax in 10 Minutes or Less
By Jordan Shakeshaft
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Don’t wait until fight or flight kicks in before minding your breath. Controlled breathing not only keeps the mind and body functioning at their best, it can also lower blood pressure, promote feelings of calm and relaxation and help us de-stress.
While the effects of breathing techniques on anxiety haven’t yet been studied at length (at least not in a controlled clinical setting), many experts encourage using the breath as a means of increasing awareness, mindfulness or, for the yogis among us, finding that elusive state of Zen. To get to the bottom of the breath work, Greatist spoke to breathing expert Dr. Alison McConnell, yoga instructor Rebecca Pacheco and psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer. But follow closely: breathing easy isn’t quite as easy as it sounds.
From the confines of a bed, a desk or anyplace where negativity finds its way, consider these six breathing techniques to help keep calm and carry on.
1. Sama Vritti or “Equal Breathing” How it’s done: Balance can do a body good, beginning with the breath. To start, inhale for a count of four, then exhale for a count of four — all through the nose, which adds a natural resistance to the breath. Got the basic pranayama down? More advanced yogis can aim for six to eight counts per breath with the same goal in mind: calm the nervous system, increase focus and reduce stress, Pacheco says. When it works best: Anytime, anyplace — but this is one technique that’s especially effective before bed. “Similar to counting sheep,” Pacheco says, “if you’re having trouble falling asleep, this breath can help take your mind off the racing thoughts, or whatever might be distracting you from sleep.” Level of difficulty: Beginner
2. Abdominal Breathing Technique How it’s done: With one hand on the chest and the other on the belly, take a deep breath in through the nose, ensuring the diaphragm (not the chest) inflates with enough air to create a stretch in the lungs. The goal: Six to 10 deep, slow breaths per minute for 10 minutes each day to experience immediate reductions to heart rate and blood pressure, McConnell says. Keep at it for six to eight weeks, and those benefits might stick around even longer. When it works best: Before an exam, or any stressful event. But keep in mind, “Those who operate in a stressed state all the time might be a little shocked how hard it is to control the breath,” Pacheco says. To help train the breath, consider biofeedback tools such as McConnell’s Breathe Strong app, which can help users pace their breathing wherever they are. Level of difficulty: Beginner
3. Nadi Shodhana or “Alternate Nostril Breathing” How it’s done: A yogi’s best friend, this breath is said to bring calm and balance, and unite the right and left sides of the brain. Starting in a comfortable meditative pose, hold the right thumb over the right nostril and inhale deeply through the left nostril. At the peak of inhalation, close off the left nostril with the ring finger, then exhale through the right nostril. Continue the pattern, inhaling through the right nostril, closing it off with the right thumb and exhaling through the left nostril. When it works best: Crunch time, or whenever it’s time to focus or energize. Just don’t try this one before bed: Nadi shodhana is said to “clear the channels” and make people feel more awake. “It’s almost like a cup of coffee,” Pacheco says. Level of difficulty: Intermediate
4. Kapalabhati or “Skull Shining Breath” How it’s done: Ready to brighten up your day from the inside out? This one begins with a long, slow inhale, followed by a quick, powerful exhale generated from the lower belly. Once comfortable with the contraction, up the pace to one inhale-exhale (all through the nose) every one to two seconds, for a total of 10 breaths. When it works best: When it’s time to wake up, warm up or start looking on the brighter side of things. “It’s pretty abdominal-intensive,” Pacheco says, “but it will warm up the body, shake off stale energy and wake up the brain.” If alternate nostril breathing is like coffee, consider this a shot of espresso, she says. Level of difficulty: Advanced
5. Progressive Relaxation How it’s done: To nix tension from head to toe, close the eyes and focus on tensing and relaxing each muscle group for two to three seconds each. Start with the feet and toes, then move up to the knees, thighs, rear, chest, arms, hands, neck, jaw and eyes — all while maintaining deep, slow breaths. Having trouble staying on track? Anxiety and panic specialist Dr. Patricia Farrell suggests we breathe in through the nose, hold for a count of five while the muscles tense, then breathe out through the mouth on release. When it works best: At home, at a desk or even on the road. One word of caution: Dizziness is never the goal. If holding the breath ever feels uncomfortable, tone it down to just a few seconds at most. Level of difficulty: Beginner
6. Guided Visualization How it’s done: Head straight for that “happy place,” no questions asked. With a coach, therapist or helpful recording as your guide, breathe deeply while focusing on pleasant, positive images to replace any negative thoughts. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer explains that while it’s just one means of achieving mindfulness, “Guided visualization helps puts you in the place you want to be, rather than letting your mind go to the internal dialogue that is stressful.” When it works best: Pretty much anyplace you can safely close your eyes and let go (e.g. not at the wheel of a car). Level of difficulty: Intermediate
While stress, frustration, and other daily setbacks will always be there, the good news is, so will our breath.
You often see articles on ways to unwind and relax after a stressful day, which I always find useful, but for me the most important advice would be to get to the source of the problem, and cut stress out before it even happens.
By careful editing of your life, and changing certain habits, you can eliminate most (not all) sources of stress in your life.
I don’t believe that a stress-free life is possible. Stress is a response to challenges in life, and a life without challenges is too boring to contemplate. However, I do believe that most of the stress in our lives is unnecessary, and that it can be eliminated by taking some simple (and some not-so-simple) steps. It can’t be accomplished overnight — I’ve been eliminating stressors in my life for awhile now, and I’m still not done. But I think it’s a worthwhile goal.
Let’s first take a look at an example — it’s a little extreme, but it exemplifies the typical stressors in people’s lives. Let’s say Fred gets up in the morning, waking up late, and now has to rush to get ready. He’s so rushed that he spills his coffee on his shirt and has to change, a nicks himself shaving. He heads out the door and then has to go back in the house because he forgot his wallet. He gets in the car and realizes he forgot his keys.
Now he’s on the way in to work and is in the middle of rush-hour traffic — and his temper starts to flare after someone cuts him off. He’s honking at people, cursing, and arrives to work late and in a bad mood. He snaps at someone and is surly all morning. His desk is covered in piles of paper, and he can’t find that report he needs to work on. His inbox is overflowing and his email notification is going off, and he sees he has 36 messages to respond to. He knows he’s late on two projects and his boss isn’t happy. He’s got to finish 5 tasks before the 11 a.m. meeting, and he’s got meetings all afternoon.
You get the idea. His day does not go well, and he hits rush-hour traffic on the way home. He gets home late, exhausted, completely stressed, his mind still on his late and as-yet uncompleted projects, his still-full inbox and email inbox, and all the stuff piling up that he has to work on tomorrow. The house is a mess and he snaps at his family. His kids have not put things away exactly where he told them to put them away, so he begins to yell at them. He has a quick, greasy dinner in front of the TV and zones out before falling asleep late.
Again, this is a bit extreme, but you can see through this illustration some of the things that stress people out. There are many more, of course, and I won’t cover all of them here.
But these sources of stress can be eliminated with a little thought. Here’s how:
Identify stressors. This is the most important step of all, as identifying the things that stress you out in your life is the first step towards eliminating them. Take 10 minutes to think about what stresses you out during the day. What weekly occurrences stress you out? What people, activities, things cause stress in your life? Make a Top 10 list, and see which of them can be eliminated, and start to weed them out. For those that can’t, find ways to make them less stressful.
Eliminate unnecessary commitments. I did a post on editing your commitments before … apply those concepts here. We all have many commitments in our life, starting with work but also including commitments related to kids, our spouses, things to do at home, other family, civic, side work, religious, hobbies, online activities and more. Consider each of them, the amount of stress they provide, and the value you get out of them. Edit brutally, and take steps today to remove the ones that stress you out the most.
Procrastination. We all do this, of course. But allowing stuff to pile up will stress us out. Find ways to take care of stuff now (form a Do It Now habit) and keep your inbox and desk clear.
Disorganization. We’re all disorganized to some extent. Even if we’ve organized something, and created a great system for keeping it that way, things tend to move towards chaos over time. But disorganization stresses us out, in terms of visual clutter, and in making it difficult to find stuff we need. Take time to get things in your life organized, starting with your desk and the papers in your home, and moving on to other areas.
Late. Being late always stresses us out. We have to rush to get ready, rush to get there, and stress out the whole time about looking bad and being late. Learn the habit of being early, and this stress disappears. Make a conscious effort to start getting ready earlier, and to leave earlier. This also makes driving less stressful. Time yourself to see how long it actually takes to get ready, and how long it actually takes to get somewhere. You’ve probably been underestimating these times. Once you know these times, you can plan backwards so that you show up 10 minutes early each time. It’s a good feeling.
Controlling. We are not the Master of this Universe. I know we sometimes wish we were, but acting as if we are is a sure way to get stressed out. Trying to control situations and people cannot work, and only serves to increase our anxiety when it doesn’t work. Learn to let go, and accept the way that other people do things, and accept what happens in different situations. The only thing you can control is yourself — work on that before you consider trying to control the world. Also learn to separate yourself from tasks and to delegate them. Learning to let go of our need to control others and the situations around us is a major step towards eliminating stress.
Multitasking. Having multiple tasks going on at the same time might seem productive, but in actuality it slows us down from actually focusing on a task and completing it — and it stresses us out in the meantime. Learn to single-task.
Eliminate energy drains. If you’ve analyzed your life (in Step 1) and found things that stress you out, you might have also noticed things that drain your energy. Certain things in our life just cause us to be more exhausted than others, with less value. Identify them, and cut them out. You’ll have much more energy and much less stress. Happiness ensues.
Avoid difficult people. You know who they are. If you take a minute to think about it, you can identify all the people in your life — bosses, coworkers, customers, friends, family, etc. — who make your life more difficult. Now, you could confront them and do battle with them, but that will most certainly be difficult. Just cut them out of your life.
Simplify life. Simplifying, of course, is a major theme of Zen Habits. Simplify your routines, your commitments, your information intake, your cluttered rooms, the mass of stuff going on in your life … and have less stress as a result. Start with Edit Your Life and then look through the other simplicity articles.
Unschedule. Create more open periods of time in your life. It’s not necessary to schedule every minute of our lives. Learn to avoid meetings, keep wide open blocks of time where we either work on our important tasks or batch process the smaller ones. When someone asks to schedule a meeting, first try to get it done through email or phone … if that doesn’t work, avoid having it scheduled. Ask them to call you and see if you’re free at that time. You will love having an open schedule.
Slow down. Instead of rushing through life, learn to take things slow. Enjoy your food, enjoy the people around you, enjoy nature. This step alone can save tons of stress.
Help others. It may sound contradictory to add more tasks to your life by trying to help other people (you’ve got enough to do), but if you were to add anything to your life, this should be it. Helping others, whether volunteering for a charity organization or just making an effort to be compassionate towards people you meet, not only gives you a very good feeling, it somehow lowers your stress level. Of course, this doesn’t work if you try to control others, or help others in a very rushed and frenetic way — learn to take it easy, enjoy yourself, and let things happen, as you work to make the lives of others better.
Relax throughout the day. It’s important to take mini-breaks during your work day. Stop what you’re doing, massage your shoulders and neck and head and hands and arms, get up and stretch, walk around, drink some water. Go outside and appreciate the fresh air and the beautiful sky. Talk to someone you like. Life doesn’t have to be all about productivity. You should also avoid using online activity too much as your de-stressing activity — get away from the computer to relax.
Quit work. This one’s drastic, and probably too drastic for most. But in most likelihood, your work is your absolute biggest stressor. Getting out of your 9-to-5, automating your income, and finding something you truly love to do, that you’re passionate about, will create a positive life and much less stressful one at that. Give it a little thought before dismissing it — there might be possibilities here you haven’t considered.
Simplify your to-do list. I’ve written about this before, but attempting to do everything on your long to-do list will definitely stress you out. Learn to simplify your to-do list down to the few essential tasks, and you will enjoy the process much more.
Exercise. This is common advice for stress relief, and that’s because it works … but it’s also a stress prevention method. Exercising helps relieve the stress buildup, it gives you some quiet time to contemplate and relax, and just as importantly, it makes you more fit. A fitter person is better equipped to handle stress. Another important factor: being unhealthy can be a major stressor (especially once you have to go to the hospital), and exercise can help prevent that.
Eat healthy. This goes hand-in-hand with exercise as a stress prevention method, of course. Become healthier and a major source of stress will disappear. Also, I’ve found that greasy food, for me, puts me in a worse mood and can contribute to stress levels immediately.
Be grateful. This might not be as obvious as some of the others, but developing an attitude of gratitude (I sound like a preacher with that rhyme!) is a way of thinking positive, eliminating negative thinking from your life, and thereby reducing stress. Learn to be grateful for what you have, for the people in your life, and see it as a gift. With this sort of outlook on life, stress will go down and happiness will go up. That’s a winning formula.
Zen-like environment. Take time to declutter your desk (as mentioned above) and even once you do that, continually edit your desk and working space, and the things in your home, until you’ve created a simple, peaceful, Zen-like environment. It will be much less stressful to work in an environment like that than a more cluttered and distracting one.
Brock University’s Neil Marshall went from spending days on the couch to presenting his master’s thesis.
RENE JOHNSTON / TORONTO STAR
Neil Marshall recently presented his master's thesis.
By:Jennifer PagliaroLife Reporter, Published on Sat Sep 15 2012
For five years after he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, Neil Marshall believed he’d never get off the couch. But in the past month, Marshall did something he once thought impossible: He presented and argued his master’s thesis in mathematics at Brock University.
More than a decade ago, after suffering from hallucinations and disorganized thinking, Marshall was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia at the age of 21. He was forced to drop out of a computer science degree at the University of Waterloo.
“The symptoms happened and my grades fell and my social life collapsed,” he said. “So one of the smartest things I ever did is I went home.”
Marshall, now 33, was then diagnosed with the mental illness and prescribed antipsychotic medication to help fight visual and auditory hallucinations and delusions.
The medication he took made him extremely lethargic, he said. Sometimes he slept for upwards of 14 hours a day.
“I had thought for maybe ... five years that the best case scenario for me would (be that) I would be on a couch the rest of my life,” he said. “For a long time I sort of accepted that.”
In Canada, some 6.7 million people — or 20 per cent of the population — live with a form of mental illness. Of the total population, at least 1 per cent develop schizophrenia, according to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. Most people have their first episode in their late teens or 20s.
While there are treatments available, most commonly antipsychotic medications, some people are less responsive than others.
When Marshall was encouraged to go back to school the first time in 2000 by his psychiatrist, and enrolled at Brock University, things quickly unravelled.
“This was a very dark time in my life,” he said. “I was very non-functional. I wasn’t living much. I consider myself existing at the time.”
In 2005, Marshall’s brother asked him to be the best man at his wedding.
“He had been so wonderfully supportive throughout this whole thing,” Marshall said. “I wanted to give him one day where I could be to him what he had always been for me.”
Having gained a significant amount of weight as a side effect of the medication, Marshall convinced himself to get off the couch, going for walks and then runs in the year he had to prepare before the big day where he was expected to give a toast.
“It was my first time speaking publicly and well, suffice to say, it went really well,” he said. “That was sort of my first real success at putting my mind to something and achieving it.”
So the following spring, he decided to do something for himself and re-enrolled at Brock as an undergraduate.
With his poor grades and large gap between schooling, he was given two options: math or history. Marshall picked math and planned to stick it out for a year.
This time he had coping strategies in place — learning to anticipate when symptoms were getting worse, doing work well in advance of the deadline, taking breaks when he needed to and building a large support system among faculty and friends.
When the first-year calculus midterm rolled round, two thirds of the class failed.
Marshall aced the test — earning 100 per cent.
“That’s really the starting point of how I started reassessing my identity,” he said. “No longer was I this weak, this broken individual. I was the top student in the class.”
Marshall went on to complete an honours thesis and begin his master’s research focusing on mathematics education that uses interactive tools to teach complex concepts.
His presentation last week represented two years of intensive work after a long journey to even make it in the door.
“My supervisor is very proud of me and I’m very happy with it,” he said.
Proud is almost an understatement.
“I have to admit I was pretty emotional ... Like his parents, I was very proud,” said supervisor Chantal Buteau, associate professor in Brock’s mathematics department. “There is Neil that went through an enormous, challenging situation ... And then on the other side too. There is the great quality of his work in mathematics.”
For Marshall, it’s about loving what he does, being honest with his supporters when he is running into health problems and proactively working to reduce negative symptoms.
Buteau still remembers how the eager student stood out from her first-year class.
“Already in the beginning he had regular questions. He showed curiosity and good understanding as well of the content,” she said.
She would first learn of his unique challenges after she asked him to be a research assistant his first summer.
They two have worked together since, including co-presenting at international conferences, where Buteau said the student excelled.
Bureau said Marshall has also been one of her best TAs, with a passion for teaching others that may have been sparked by his retired math teacher father.
For Marshall, there is a pride in what he has been able to accomplish. His work, including his honours thesis have been published in major international journals, and he’s been awarded a prestigious scholarship for his upcoming PhD studies at York University.
But there’s also a lesson.
While it’s true those with severe, chronic mental illness face a 70 to 90 per cent unemployment rate, according to the Canadian Mental Health Association, and achieving a university degree is a major barrier, Marshall said telling his story is not about encouraging others to follow exactly in his path.
For Marshall, it’s about recalculating what you believe you are capable of.
“There’s a lot of very beautiful moments that came out of my life after I put my mind to changing my story,” he said. “I always lament that I’m a square peg in a round hole. But sometimes you’ve just got to hammer that peg in as hard as you can.”
When Marshall thinks about what he’s accomplished just in the past two years he can only think of one word to describe it: “Intoxicating.”